Fun Stuff

One reader asked me for a plot for her class Chanukah play... I figured, what the heck, I'll post it here :) Tennessee Williams I ain't :)

The Real Story of the Chanukah Miracle:

Not everybody knows this, but it was permissible to use any of the temple oil for the Menorah. The whole priest's seal things was just the Jews being a little extra machmir to set the mood (I learned this from a friend of Bec's Adrian Treger).

Or, so we think...

Actually, the problem was a great larger than a few broken seals.

Purpose of scene 1, with a few Greek generals talking: 'Folks, we're losing this war! We need to do something about these upstart Jews - something that'll really set them back a step.'

Scene 2, in Jewish command headquarters: A spy (probably a girl, boys tended to be soldiers), rushes in with critical news. Something very strange is going on in the Greek camp and they're not sure what it is - but lots of the army is getting rid of their armor and leaving (on orders!). Describe it and everything and they work out that the Greeks are trying to worship every olive tree in Israel so that none of the trees will be kosher. The Jewish command decides to send out two groups - one to protect a far away grove and one to try and stop the idol worshippers. The spy tells him that 50 soldiers took up the new mission.

Scene 3, group of Jewish soldiers takes up positions around olive grove. There aren't very many of them, most are fighting the main battle. They are pretty worried about how to defend themselves incase many of the 50 tree worshipping greeks are left.

Scene 4, a Jewish pursuit group tracks down a tree worshipper. He tries to climb away and so they call him a 'tree hugger.' (you can work in stupid jokes like this if you'd like.) Anyways, they cut him down. But afterwards they're worried. It's taking too long and they're not sure if they can catch all the tree worshippers.

Scene 5, The Jewish soldiers see a Greek (obviously unseen) army approaching in the distance. There are still 40 of them left! They are really in trouble. One smart soldier decides that in order to fight better they have to squeeze all the olives and make them into ancient-style molotov cocktails. They all set to squeezing.

Scene 6, the fight scene. Throwing oil this way and that.

Scene 7, the temple is taken and the war is over. But they don't know how to tell which oil is kosher. Not just sealed, but from that one unworshipped grove. And they squeezed all the oil out of the good grove defending it so they can't make more. One Jew (or Jewess) has a great idea. He says he can get out his science kit and does DNA testing on all the oil to determine which ones came from that grove. Another points out that they're an easier (and faster) way. The high priest's seal was actually a barcode and they can trace the oil back to its' precise grove and tree using the barcode system.

Scene 8, Noboby (but one person who explains it) knows what a barcode is - but they set to searching. They can't even find a single bottle with a good barcode. And then, low and behold, they find one. Everybody is very excited and holding their breath and hoping it is from the right grove. None of them want to do lots of DNA testing. A person walks up, and 'BEEP' scans the oil. When he announces the result, everybody shouts with joy!

The end!